The Love Story


Many Stories about Love

There are very many stories about love, probably because it is such a powerful force in our lives, & indeed, in all of Life.     

Some contemporary thinkers have gone as far as naming Eros the 'fifth force' (these being the the other four).


The reasons we think it should be of great interest to Integral Permaculture designers (& anyone who is working for the Transition to a saner society, whatever they call themselves) is that this version of Eros seems to be one of the clearest ideas we have so far of the Evolutionary Force, a concept that is proving very useful in imagining how to get to a rational future for humanity.   (thanks to Ken Wilber & Andrew Cohen for this reference)


"What we love is what we give time to"


- is our favourite working definition of love (permaculture designers being profoundly practical people), & if so it follows that all we see around us in the world, including the collapsing ecological, social & economic systems we live in, as well as all the beauty & intelligent systems we have created, individually & collectively, is simply a result of our love, in action: what we have given our time & energy to, from hour to hour, day to day, week to week, & year to year ...   


So what's going on?  Do we somehow "love into being" also wars, pain, confusion, environmental destruction, mass extinctions, unbelievable cruelty, suffering ... or is it that we don't love peace, pleasure, clarity, Nature, other species, kindness, well-being, etc. ... enough to do what it takes to work for them instead?   


St Valentine is interesting in terms of systems design because he's mostly used an excuse for commercializing love - which is a telling contradiction in terms - especially selling to would be lovers, & for 'celebrating love' in the popular culture, but - we would suggest - highlighting a particularly dis-empowering, consumerist & consuming (instead of generative) kind of 'love'.    


So what exactly we're celebrating is well-worth looking into, if you are a student of systems, and particularly of how the current systems work to keep the vast majority of us distracted, feeling confused, unable to use our creative energies to actually & powerfully change the world around us for the better.


Evolutionary Love is the most primal & powerful creative force we can ever experience as humans, but the codependent type of romantic love that we are heavily conditioned to seek (by St Valentine's celebrations amongst many other cultural expressions) is, by contrast, something that can tie up our time & energies into self-obsession & trauma more easily than many other things - quite its opposite.


Ken Wilber & Andrew Cohen
offer some interesting perspectives on Love, Sex & the Evolutionary Drive (Eros)

Erogenous Zones of Life


Vídeo de YouTube



What Is Love?

Andrew Cohen and Ken Wilber speak about Love.

Vídeo de YouTube






Piercing the Romantic Illusion


If a man and a woman can each go this far, and then come together with the same ultimate purpose, there is a foundation for something different to happen. 

If it’s going to work, each individual has to be more interested in evolution beyond ego and in the evolution of consciousness itself than they’re interested in being together. 

If they don’t want the same thing, it will never work. 
The ego derives a great sense of security from being in a relationship like this. 

So if we want to create a new enlightened culture, the last thing that our romantic and sexual relationships should do is serve to create security for the part of our self that that doesn't want to evolve. 

It’s very important to be able to prove that we can do this. 

If men and women can’t live together, not just harmoniously but victoriously, then what does our spiritual attainment mean? In a culture like the one we’re all living in, where there is so much cynicism about human potential and where we imbue the romantic and sexual bond with so much significance, to be able to demonstrate an extraordinary victory in this particular area of life speaks a thousand words.


Andrew Cohen in





There's a dialogue related to this page in the Integral Permaculture FB group (click icon to go there)

There's a dialogue in our FB group on this subject (click icon to go there)




ReDesigning Eros I        Feb 2013



We were very moved by these presents
from some participants...
 THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!


Hi  ... I participated in the conference ...

I've been deeply moved by finding a group of people who I resonate with.
I participated actively during 2 years in the frustrated organization of a community, but it ended very badly, with people who came out emotionally damaged (me too)...
That's the reason for my continuous search for tools that can make the relationships we weave together more fluid and human...

Sometimes I feel very lonely in this path and I love finding people like You, who's so close to the way in which I'd like to relate in... Thanks for your generous presents, and there's someone here who's open and willing to collaborate in the evolution.



Hi Stella, Jose & everyone,
I've finished watching yesterday's conference, brilliant, as all I'm reading about the free courses, even more brilliant... better late than never, right?

The truth is I'm getting very hooked, the little I've watched is being so helpful... it's helping me put order into my current chaos.   I'm learning everything I'm capable of, taking notes, I don't want to miss anything...




Hello, 1st thank you very much for the awesome conference you offered. It's been very recomforting in many senses, and best of all, hope-giving, I've been very moved by all I've heard, I'm happy for habing found this light, thank you so much. I hope I can follow the next one live.

Truth is, I've felt very identified with the moment when the caterpillar cells are decomposed in a soup and my imaginal cells are being attacked by the rest. It's been very beautiful for me to think that from this mess a butterfly can emerge.

I don't know too much about permaculture, I'm starting and I'm liking it a lot, more than that, we're finally talking ithe same language!


... I was going to surrender when I found you... I wish I had known about this before ruining my physic and everything else.
I feel indebted to the mother earth and her inhabitants, I'm aware that all the comforts we enjoy come from abuse and stealing the resources of who can't fight back.
My goal is finding out all I can and of course contributing with what I have to restore the damage that's been caused.
Up till now I had always felt as a flea dropping in front of an indestructible giant... Ananke's inevitability... when I found permaculture a light was opened (Ether?)... everything's already starting... I just need to overcome my fears and join the really good work you've been doing for so many years (Eros)... all of you... thank you very much...




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